John Chamberlain
Developer Diary
 Developer Diary · You Heard It Here First · Friday 16 January 2004
I'm Feeling Lucky
I'm feeling lucky. When you google "John Chamberlain" and press that button you come straight here. Three months ago that was definitely not the case. The biggest problem was that there is a famous sculptor named John Chamberlain. He produced classics like the 48" diameter "Lovenest Over the Body Shop" shown at right. I am not kidding. Gives a whole new meaning to the term junk art.

Zillions of loser art sites consequently have links to pages filled with "John Chamberlain". Originally I was so blocked out I couldn't even get my own domain name,, because some art dealer in Canada had taken it. He wasn't even using it. He just registered it and forgot about it. I had to wait a year and half before he let the registration lapse.

That was not the worst though. As my page rank increased my google listing sat for a long time right next to "prisoner, inmate, human being" John Chamberlain, a convict on death row in Florida. His story is that he and two associates went to somebody's apartment to rob them of their VCR or something at gunpoint no less when one of them decided to open fire and blow the three occupants away. The third member of the crew at the behest of the police testified that Chamberlain had verbally urged the shooter to do the killings. The result was that the guy who had actually killed the people got life in prison, Chamberlain, who did not cooperate with the police, got the death sentence and the rat got ten years. The police like people to know that it is more important to cooperate with them than to be innocent.

Besides John Chamberlain, the sculptor, and John Chamberlain, the human being, there are of course John Chamberlain the bishop, the Newsweek editor, the CIO, the plantation owner, the immunologist, etc, etc. You get the idea. Unfortunately for them all there is only John Chamberlain, the programmer, who knows how to boost page rank and now at long last I sit atop the google search for my own name.

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Developer Diary · about · · bio · Revised 16 January 2004 · Pure Content