John Chamberlain
Developer Diary
 Developer Diary · You Heard It Here First · Wednesday 28 January 2004
Quest for the Silent Computer
I'm on a quest. A quest for a silent computer. It's really more of a dream than a quest since I haven't done anything about it, but the moment is coming soon when I will. My current 300Mhz Windows NT box is functional but once again has run out of hard drive space and is making strange noises. Even worse, I made the blunder of upgrading to SP 6a and now my printer will not work along with various other stuff. Little voices are saying "get a new computer, get a new computer". My own voice is saying "get a silent computer". I live in a quiet neighborhood but that does not matter the way the fan whines on my box. Something has to be done.

Here's my plan. The first step is to construct a new computer. My brilliant idea is instead of using a case I will install a metal frame in one of the two filing cabinets that hold my desk up. I hardly use the left cabinet anyway so it makes sense to convert it to a computer. The extra space and support will allow me to line the cabinet with enough acoustic tiling to quiet a jet engine. I will duct the fan to the outside of the house to obtain complete silence. Phase 1 complete.

I would be done except that I still have the old NT box. The simplest solution will be to move it to another room. Maybe it can be a web server or something. But what if I want to keep it in my office? In that case I need to silence it. Here is my plan for phase 2: the parafin injection. NASA cools their shuttle electronics with parafin. I will do the same thing. I will get rid of the power supply fan and fill the sucker with parafin, add a heat sink and voila! a completely silent NT box. Of course it might not work and just ruin the power supply, but in that case it will not be my main computer any more so who cares?

Bwahh hah hah, I can heard the sweet sound of silence already.

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